For the Fun of It - work in progress

nothing in life is ever finished

Hi! My name is Ashlyn Anstee, and I tell stories with words and pictures. Sometimes, that’s picture books (like Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library Select “Hedgehog”), or graphic novels (my series “Shelby and Watts”), and sometimes it’s animation (I’ve directed at places like Warner Bros. and Cartoon Network).

This column, “For the Fun of It”, will also have words and pictures. Sometimes it will be stories, or how-tos, or thoughts. A little bit of everything. Hope you enjoy!

I am growing

I have always loved learning new skills.

I recently made this stuffed jointed cat.

I jump from media to media, and hobby to hobby. Throughout this column I’ll share some of my new experiments. I’m curious about a lot of different things. This summer, while on my extended hiatus (the-streaming-bubble-burst-also-there’s-a-writers-strike), I’ve been taking proper writing classes for the first time! It’s been kicking my butt.

I’ve been experimenting with stranger colors.

The problem with being an experimenter is not that I don’t finish projects- I love finishing things! It’s more that, as a person, I always feel like a work in progress. It’s hard to know when you’ve “succeeded” in learning something. In traditional schooling you might get a degree, or a certification. But in a lot of grown up things, you just do things, and sometimes they’re good, and sometimes they’re not as good.

I have been enjoying this red/blue pencil!

That’s the learning process! Especially with a skill that feels new to you.

Taste Gap

Ira Glass has this very famous quote about this feeling of your taste and skill not quite matching up, called the Gap. Please excuse me for quoting it here, as I’m sure you’ve read it before (or seen a video about it!) But it’s worth reading, I think, as you start learning a new skill.

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

―Ira Glass

I’ve talked here before about my own methods for keeping going, success journals and that sort of thing. This blog was founded on play, after all.

The problem sometimes to me is that the more I dive into a skill, the more that the gap seems to widen. There’s definitely a honeymoon period with a new skill that can dive into despair. It’s climbing out of that despair, as Ira Glass mentions above that can be tricky.

diving into a new piece and thinking- what have I gotten myself into!

The Social Media Problem

This dives into my other issue that we’ve talked about before- social media doesn’t reward experimentation. I’ve been frustratedly lately because I’m in such a period of play, and work in progress, that I worry my social media presence isn’t consistent enough. If you aren’t in the arts, or don’t have to have a consistent presence on social media, you’re probably confused with all the worry. Basically, there’s a push to brand yourself. What‘s your “style”? As much as I focus on enjoying myself, and experimenting, I’m very much not immune to the pressure of numbers and likes, especially during this forced hiatus.

I also just really like making fake rocks

Mindfulness

I can’t promise a foolproof method to not feel bad while you’re in the gap. If I could, I’d be the queen of the world, I’m sure. But here’s what I’ve been trying, lately.

I’ve been trying to not share everything. I’ll take photos of art as I go, and hold them for a while, to give myself time to sit and enjoy my path myself. Also- not every experiment needs to go online! Or, a new trick I have- I’ll post something, and if I feel rotten about it after a while, I’ll just delete it. Sometimes it’s okay to give into your social media anxiety. Not everything on the internet has to live forever- you’re allowed to go through every few weeks and curate your feed! Sometimes if you set aside a portfolio/curation day for yourself, you can post with more freedom and even see patterns in your own work.

Of course, as always, we have to practice mindfulness (I said this in my best therapist voice, which I learned from my amazing therapist friend Ariel!) You can only do as best as you can, in the moment, with the tools that you have. You’re not going to be perfect the first time you do something, or the 10th, or even every time, no matter how good you are at something!

Be good to yourself.

Thing of the Week

Positively thrilling update. I finished my cursive handwriting book!

It took a long time- I want to say 4 months? Here’s how my handwriting has improved.

I did write the words “poop” and “butt” more often than I should.

I don’t think I learned or remembered a lot of the capital letters so that’s probably my biggest improvement.

Eyyy it’s my trusty Pilot Kakuno! Also I copied this particularly quote from the book, which is why it’s SO intense.

I really liked this workbook, though fair warning, he’s WAY TOO INTO HANDWRITING. He will wax poetic about how you have to sit in a specific way and how intimately beautiful it is to write something by hand, and honestly… Get over it dude, we type now!!!
Anyway I spent hours and HOURS learning cursive from him, so who am I to judge.

ok love u bye.