For the Fun of It - turning away from perfect

how striving for perfect makes us miserable in the here and now.

Hi everyone! I made a brief stop by in Vancouver last weekend, hence no column (journal? blog?).

I'm from Vancouver and a lot of my family and friends are there, and now that my parents have a new place on the mainland, I'll be coming by more often! Main problem- my parents’ new apartment is around the corner from fountain pen & ink emporium Buchan’s, which is dangerous for me.

I also started my favorite summer gig- being a production supervisor for Film2Future. I’m spending the next two weeks helping some amazing teens make an animated film! If you work in animation, especially in the LA area, I recommend volunteering with them, it's truly a special program. I always leave feeling inspired by their creativity, and also I learn new cool slang to drop casually in conversations.

OKAY anyway those are the updates.

What I really wanted to talk about this week, especially in light of talking to teens, is how the search for perfect (particularly in the work we share and post online) is futile. FUTILE!!! For me, I’ve realized that the search for that perfection has done nothing but make me feel kinda sad and bad when I create work.

I’ve been comparing it in my head to my own social anxiety. It might surprise people to hear that I’m socially anxious- I’m a pretty gregarious person. But my social anxiety manifests in the after. After I have a conversation, I’ll think about all the things I said wrong or did and spiral and twist up and it just feels bad! But over the years, I’ve worked hard and it’s gotten a lot better.

I think there’s a similar thing that happens for me, at least, with my art. The process of making it can set me floating on the zone of creating- but when I’m done, I judge myself.

Why?

So I ask… why? Is the feeling of judgment a useful feeling? An acceptance of meeting your art where it’s at will make you happier- and a happier person is more likely to create art again.

When I was chatting with my parents, my dad mentioned Canadian Folk artist Maud Lewis. I hadn't heard of her (I didn't take much art history in college, and the West Coast has its own art style.) She's also got a movie about her called Maudie, though it doesn't show much of her art. Her art is completely joyous, what they call naive or outsider art.

Here’s a book collecting her work, that uses her famous “Paintings for Sale” sign that she displayed in her window.

As someone always striving for play or joy, she sent me off on a whirlwind. There's so much to love about her art, but also her practice. She painted every day- usually just to sell. She’d paint scenes from her window, from reference, from her mind.

she also painted cats ;)

There's a lot to love about the internet and social media, and how we can search up endless inspiration and references. I remember in high school, which was the era of more central forum-based social media, you could sort of compare yourself to people online, but it's much less bad than it is now. In my time with Film2Future, I often hear teens talk about not being good at art. They have endless examples of what's "right" online and a bazillion twitter accounts making decrees about the right way to draw or do art or anything. Even I'm over here, making my own little missives about what I think is the right way. It's overwhelming!

But back to Maud- Maud could barely leave her house. She created from the things she had around her, limited supplies, and movement. She also often made the same piece over and over again for sale, changing it just a little as she went).

I've been thinking about sketchbooks again, too, and how we post our art on social media. I'm sure you've seen sketchbooks where each page is a perfect painting. Sketchbook tours with pristine, aesthetic pages. I always feel like those are display books. We rarely share the thumbnails, and the messy value sketches. It feels vulnerable, maybe, to show that we have to create a lot of rough pieces before making the final. It is saying, I am a work in progress. I am not perfect.

But of course we aren’t perfect, we never will be. And I don't think it's good for our hearts and brains to constantly browse and only see the final works of the world. f you can meet yourself where you're at, and know that like Maud, you can always make a piece over again, you can breath a little better, and maybe make drawing more fun. And sell all those imperfect pieces if people want them.

It's okay to struggle with your skills, and the work you're making, but grace and acceptance will make the process more fun. And if you're having fun, there's a good chance your art will come out more you. And isn't that why we make art in the first place? To share a little piece of ourselves with the world? If we do that, maybe we’ll feel free, to make work, and when it’s done, not twist up with judgement but just breathe out and say “oh, that was fun.”

Thanks for listening.

I love Andrea Tsurumi’s character-filled linework, and her new Substack

Amused By Corners

is already full of some charming drawings! Give it a follow.

The sketchbook picture above is my Onion Skin Journal! It's pricy but the paper is truly super fun. It's very thin and wrinkly and satisfying. You can see another review here from the awesome Sophia Pike.

If you're struggling with feeling the perfection of it all, I would also recommend printer paper, or having an ugly art night!

ok love u bye